blogging from work

this week i have been mostly in the doldrums emotionally, exercises and sets done to a tee but my heart wasnt in it for some reason....where there was joy this week there was nothing...which is strange more than anything and although the feeling is there that we are all doing something great for ourselves every day my mind has been elsewhere.
I think being stuck in front of screens all day and then watching the disaster in japan unfold on the television really got me, the helplessness of the situation and those poor people, i think humbling maybe the expression i am looking for. What it demonstrates is the fraility of human kind and that is tough to quantify, what it makes me believe though is that if you give it your all, 100% everyday then whatever happens you know you have tried your hardest and put your heart into it. if you leave nothing on the table then the contentment starts to spread but sometimes the getting to that point is the real test.
I think that is what i am learning from this project apart from the nutrition and the belief in a solid exercise structure, it requires you to examine yourself everday for an hour, to stress test your frame and mind, something that we all do far too infrequently.
I know there is a quote out there about idleness but its more than that, it is a beep test of ones character everyday to get out there and do it, to be organised about the food and exercise to actually care about how you feel and how you look, although not of all these things are a novelty to me i see the simplicity of it and due to the way i feel and look now it just seems to make sense.
Quite often before i would hit the gym for an hour at lunchtime to do some cardio and lift dome weights but i never saw any results. i considered myself to be realtively fit albeit too heavy but couldnt get what i wanted.
The combination of what we are doing now has cracked this cycle and the belief in it is self-reinforicng, you do it and you feeel better simple. You look better, you sleep better. I take pride in the fact my giant shopping trolley is overflowing with fruit / veg / low fat milk / youghurt / eggs / fish and chicken and thats it, no health food products / no tins / no atrificialallnessmadeinafactory rubbish at all. It feels good to bring that home to my family!
A clearer mind has led me to be on the one hand more reflective about things that actually matter and on the other more driven and convinced that there are certain things that are changing and will be changed due to my actions in the future.
This week has been a fruitless exercise at work but the wheels keep on turning, in my personal life i feel as though i have achieved a lot and it matters so much more, a brilliant revelation that i had to share with you all.
I now am excited about the last four weeks and i hope you all are too, for those of you that i know my amazing wife included you all look fantastic, for those of you that i dont you all look great too, i feel a post pcp coming out evening in HK if you are all keen, happy to organise to swap war stories,
keep up the hard work everyone, prayers to those in japan and in the middle east, the karmic wheel is spinning just keep the faith.
ENJOY THE WEEKEND ONE AND ALL.